"I Want to Forgive, but Can't
Q: I have been belittled and used and taken advantage of financially
by my brother-in-law. I have now distanced myself from him, but I still hear his threats in my mind and if I
see his type of car on the street, my heart beats faster. I want to let go and forgive. How do I do it? I
feel I have forgiven but it seems to be still there.
A: This is a good example of what happens to us even when we've taken conscious steps to deal
with a situation. Your conscious, adult mind has forgiven your brother-in-law. You have distanced yourself
from him. You desire to let go and forgive. Yet, the threats play over in your mind and even when you see his
type of car on the street, you have a physical fear/anger reaction.
This is because the subconscious part of your
mind, that is fueled by the memories of what this man has done, is not healed. The memories actually got encoded
into your cells, and they send out negative stress signals whenever something, such as seeing his make of car,
These memories are like little tuning forks,
all tuned to the frequency of the feelings the traumas connected to your brother-in-law. When "big tuning fork"
is struck---you see something that reminds you of him--all the little tuning forks calibrated to that frequency
will start to vibrate, causing those stress signals and physical reactions.
So what we have to do is change the frequency
of those "little tuning forks inside," and that is where The Healing Codes come in. You will want to focus on
the negative memories associated with him. It's the wounded parts of you that need to forgive him.
Start with the most painful memory. Pray the
prayer of intention, something like, "Dear God, please find, open, and heal all known and
hidden negative images, wrong beliefs, unforgiveness, negative entanglements; and destructive
cellular memories of any nature and source, with any connection to [insert your feelings: fear, anger,
resentment, etc.] from [insert memories]. Please replace all negatives with your love, light and life, and
help me to forgive ____." Then do a Healing Code, either the one from the book or one from The Healing Codes
Manual, Relationship Codes Manual, or Success Codes Manual (the unforgiveness Code would be best for this,
You will know you are healed when you can
accept him as a person, not
what he did, but him as a person, Dr. Alex Loyd says. Another sign of healing would be to see his make of car,
and not have the same negative physical reactions. Also, when you think of those memories, you will be able to
know they happened, but not feel any "charge." These are all signs this issue is healed.
By the way, unforgiveness is one of the biggest
blocks to healing any issue. So if you are having trouble healing something, ask yourself if there is any
unforgiveness in your heart toward anyone. Ask God to help the part (e.g., the little inner 5-year-old) to
forgive the perpetrator, and use a Healing Code to heal the memories. I suggest you add the word "unforgiveness"
to the prayer of intention no matter what the issue.
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